Renee over at http://www.mummytries.com/ challenged some of us to share some random facts about ourselves. She shared some very personal and poignant things about herself in the spirit of getting to know her better. I thought I'd have a go but I don't think my life has been as interesting or troubled as Renee's. So forgive me if this is frivolous but then sometimes I am like that...
I'm a proud Brummie exile, living in the softy south (well, Oxfordshire) who has ended up living only a few miles from the village where my mother was born. I've spent some time looking into my family history and found plenty of agricultural labourers but no serial killers or nutters. Must look harder.
I have no boundaries when it comes to my greed. I have been known to sit on the bus and eat a whole packet of Thornton's coffee chocolates rather than share them when I get home. I also hide chocolates so no-one else knows they are in the house then scoff them all and make myself feel sick. Crisps are a real problem - I will sit and binge on several 'sharing' bags then feel bloated and cross. I shudder to think what the psychology of it is but I'm a greedy cat.
I have several claims to fame. I kissed Gary Shaw in Birmingham City Centre - ok it was as part of the European Cup Winning celebrations and there were several thousand other people there queueing to kiss him or shake his hand. I went to college with Justin Hayward's cousin. And Andrew Castle mentioned a tweet of mine on BBCOne during coverage of Queen's Club. Bet you're all jealous...
I was scared stupid by a Dalek as a small child at Bingley Hall in Birmingham.
I find it hard to act my age. I still get giddy about beautiful men - I'm looking at you Lawrence and Benedict - in the same way I was about David Cassidy and Steve McQueen. I love girly pink, glitter, nail polish, all the things I should have grown out of by now. I enjoy silly things like Pokemon, Hello Kitty and Miffy - I don't even have the excuse of 'It's for my kids' anymore. I worry that I'll be one of those dotty old ladies that everyone jokes about yet I secretly long to be just like that.
I'm a bit of a snob about music, films and books. I have definite ideas about what is 'good' and 'bad' and can be rather dismissive of things that I think are 'bad'. I blame my mother for this - she thought duffle coats and coloured socks were 'common' and some of this rubbed off on me.
Family is really important to me. My sister is my BFF and my husband is my rock. I lost my parents in 2000 and miss them both every day. I still hear my mother's disapproving voice in my head when I do something I think she'd hate - usually revolving around what I'm wearing or eating. I want only the best for my family and will always put my wants and needs behind theirs. In my mind I'm a bread baking, basket weaving, serene Earth Mother; in reality I'm just doing my best!
I used to be outgoing and confident but several bouts of anxiety related illness have made me more cautious and inward looking. I suffer from anxiety before a trip or event and would rather cancel than attend. However I make myself face these anxieties and usually find that I enjoy myself once I get there. But the little voice can be powerful; she insists that it will all go wrong, I will have a dreadful time, I can't do it etc. She's hard to drown out even though she's small. She morphs into my inner critic when I write and she's a noisy soul when wearing that hat.
I have a shadow identity, an invented 'me' who lives an alternative life to the one I live. She is tall and slim, fit and healthy, successful and content. I should hate her but she stands as a testiment to how my life might have turned out if I had taken different turns and decisions to the ones I did. I might use her as the basis of a story one day...
So there we are, a few things about me. Told you I wasn't very interesting.