Friday, 28 February 2014

Here come the excuses!

Well it's nearly St David's Day and my poor blog has been neglected since New Year's Day.  So much for a new start!

I'm not doing too well with the 'resolutions' either - I have managed to try a new food each month (January, fennel; February, quinoa) but the others have fallen by the wayside.  This is why I'm so rubbish at resolutions.

Anyway, instead of making a whole bunch of excuses I thought I'd simply explain what the problem has been.

I started a new job at the start of the year and, like most teaching jobs, it takes far more of my time than those I'm actually timetabled/paid for.  Everything was going well, I enjoyed the job and was getting my head round what was going on.  Things seemed to be going well.  That should  have put me on my guard; things rarely go smoothly in my life!

Then it happened.  Another incident of workplace bullying and I'm back where I was several years ago - stressed out, off work and on pills.  I'm feeling very sorry for myself, as you can imagine, but I'm also cross with myself for falling apart again.  I know, I know it's not me , it's them but that doesn't stop me feeling like a total failure.  Am I destined never to work outside of the house again, just in case I run into another workplace bully?  What is it about me that reacts so badly to these people?  More to the point, do I attract them? It certainly feels that way!

So now I'm waiting for a call about some therapy/counselling and trying to remain relatively positive about where my life will go now.  I can't see anything beyond the next few days but hope that there will be a light at the end of the latest tunnel that's not an oncoming train!