Word of the Week

It's been a week full of thinking and pondering - either of which could have been my WOTW. However I've decided on something which is the result of all the thinking so my WOTW is

Writing

 

I've long harboured dreams of writing or being a writer. But I've not really done much more than dream. Oh there are files on the hard-drive with 'novels' saved to them but nothing which is finished or polished in any way. So I guess I'm a frustrated wannabe writer.

 

This week I've been thinking about why I want to write and why I've found it so hard to actually do it. Some kind and encouraging comments on previous posts about my writing have convinced me that what I need to do is just write. Seems obvious, doesn't it? Well it's now a lesson (hopefully) learnt so in the next few weeks I intend to write as much as I'm able. Even if it's only 10 minutes of mindless word doodling then I will try to do it. I also have to grasp the nettle and share more of what I write - I tend to clutch my babies to my bosom and fear for their lives if I let them fly. But I think unless I do let them see the light of day I'll never improve or gain any confidence in what I write.

 

So watch out world, I may be writing about you!   

The Prompt - Anticipation

Anticipation

 

 

Here is the moment, the moment I knew was coming. There is nothing I can do to stop it. It comes at me like a runaway train, no brakes, no slowing. It will hit me and I will be powerless to stop it.

  

Do I want to stop it? No. I'm embracing it, drawing it closely to me, looking forward to it although I'm scared by the power of it. I have to surrender to it, let it flow over me and drag me under. There is no escape, nowhere to hide. It is coming ...

I've been here before. Each year this feeling begins to build, knowing that the day is approaching when I will face this single moment. I always forget what it feels like, how all consuming it is, how it occupies all my thoughts for days before the event.

I've forgotten what it feels like, how it lifts my spirits on a dull day, how it warms me in its soft, sweet embrace. It feels like so long since the last time. Oh, how I've missed it! How welcome it will be to surrender to it once again.

So here it is. The moment. The glorious moment, long anticipated, finally here. My hands trembles and my heart quickens, a slight flush warming my cheeks.

Time to do it. Time to indulge and enjoy.

Time for the first piece of chocolate since Lent began.



What I'm Writing

In an effort to get my mind focused back on writing I've decided to link up with The Muddled Manuscript and write about why/what I'm currently not writing.  Seems like the time was right for me to discover this linky - I'm fantastic at not doing things, after all!

I've always scribbled rather than written. A few times I've made an effort to be more disciplined and write regularly and with some idea of writing a formed thing (won't grace it with the name novel, even if it is saved on the hard-drive as such) But somehow I've always felt like a dabbler and therefore a fraud. This whole writing thing is supposed to be something that burns so hot within the writer that they have no choice but to do it. Somehow I'm so good at putting things off that I can put off writing for weeks, therefore I'm not a writer, right?

See how confused I am?

This week is the same, I've yet to sit down and write (apart from this, obvs!) So that means I can't be  a writer, yes? Still with me? Yet my head is bursting with stories and ideas. As a child I spent hours skipping up and down the garden telling stories - weird or what? So how do I get the discipline to pop them down on paper or screen?

I guess one of the reasons is my working class heritage. Writing isn't like real work. Therefore it's not something to spend time on, especially when there are more important things to do like ironing and running the hoover over the cat hair carpet.  I'm also prone to the odd distraction - not the ironing or hovering of course! - there are cakes to bake, cats to pet and terrible daytime TV programmes to watch (be rude not to now they've gone to all the trouble of making them!)

So what am I to do?

Well this week I've done one thing about it; I've joined up with this linky and sat with the TV off for 10 minutes to write this post.  Maybe that's OK for now, maybe that'll do Donkey (see what I did there?)

So now all I need to do is turn off the TV more often and convince myself that writing is real work. Maybe then I can do it more often and get some of these stories out of my head and onto the hard-drive.

The Prompt - Reality

Reality

The moment when you realise that little girls from terraced houses in Birmingham don't become ballet dancers - reality.

The moment when you realise that you probably won't marry David Cassidy, Steve McQueen or Robert Redford - reality.

The moment when you open the exam result envelope and realise that you should have studied harder - reality.

The moment when the man you thought you'd marry tells you he's changed his mind - reality.

The moment when you realise you've found The One - reality.

The moment when your handed a new born and realise things will never be the same again - reality.

The moment you're left alone with said new born for the first time - reality.

The first grey hair, the first moment you look in a mirror and see your mother looking back - reality.

The moment you realise you're probably not going to write a Booker winner this year - reality.

The moment you learn to accept all this and be content with your lot - reality.