Valuing What I Do

I've returned from a weekend retreat with a bunch of talented, supportive and funny women with my batteries fully charged and my head full of ideas.
As usual I fear the dwindling of enthusiasm and the fall back into the Pit of Despondency.
So I'm thinking of ways to keep the momentum and keep the enthusiasm going. I have been pondering what value I put on what I do and how this impacts on my state of mind with regard to my writing.

Last weekend was wonderful. Meeting old friends again, laughing and sharing a convivial time in a stunning setting with beautiful food was just the tonic most of us needed. But we have to return to the real world and I confess to not writing a word since I returned home. Why is that?
I have spent a lot of time thinking. I have been thinking about things that were said at the retreat and things I have noticed since I returned.
As usual I shared the writing I did during the weekend, guided by prompts from Gilly. I explored some of my feelings about my parents and how even after eighteen years I still miss them. But I didn't share anything that I had written in depth, nothing that I had invested time and effort into. This made me curious about how I value my writing.

I am a reluctant sharer of my words. That is an odd thing to say for someone who loves telling stories and inventing characters. Why don't I get my writing out there more? I think it's because I don't value it as much as the work of others. Last weekend we heard some beautiful writing and spent some time discussing it, workshopping it and appreciating it. I didn't share any of my work in this way and I think it's because I thought everyone else's writing was better than mine.

This week I have been giving this some serious thought and hence I am writing a post about it to clear m own mind. I love the sound of my own voice, I love reading stories aloud but rarely use my own stories for that. I think if I am to progress as a writer I need to let go of some of my 'babies' and let them fly in the world. After all, doesn't all writing need its reader?

So I am going to try something different. I am going to try podcasting! I've looked into this before and done nothing about it but this time I'm determined to give it a go. I intend to write some short pieces that I will read out on a short podcast and let my words go, to sink or swim in the real world. I also want to look into the possibility of doing some self publishing, online stuff for kindle and other e-readers. All this will happen in the New Year, fingers crossed and you will probably get fed up with me banging on about it then as I start the marketing and publicity.

So you heard it here first. There will be a big leap of faith in the New Year and I'm already thinking of excuses why I shouldn't do it, so wish me luck!