I decided a while ago that I wouldn't do the usual New Year post. It's been such an odd time that I thought some reflection was needed so I came up with five questions I've been asking myself as 2021 approached.
1. What can I take from 2020?
There's no denying that 2020 was a very trying year. Many people had a very hard time and many people are suffering as a result of the pandemic. It's strange to think back to the beginning of 2020 and all the plans or resolutions we made. I was looking forward to a writing retreat to re-connect with friends and get some writing done in a beautiful country house. Of course that didn't happen and there's no knowing when we will be able to meet up again. Several friends had big holidays planned, long haul destinations that would be a holiday of a lifetime trip. All cancelled.
On a more serious note, many people lost someone they loved. My aunt died last year, not related to Covid as so many were. But because of the pandemic and travelling I was unable to attend her funeral. So many had to mourn via webcam, unable to hug the bereaved. It's heartbreaking to think how much we've all missed a hug, a hand on the arm, the comfort of human contact.
So there is much to mourn about 2020. However I am able to take some positives from it too. It gave us all the chance to slow down, to step off the crazy whirlwind of 21st century life and look around. Some people took the time to re-connect with hobbies they had long abandoned, others took time to enjoy nature. For me it was a time to think about what is really important in life, to stop worrying about how others see me, to realise the value of just being me.
2. What will I use going into 2021?
The dawning of a new year is a traditional place to re-set, to re-evaluate our lives and make changes. The tradition of the New Year Resolution which I always buy into only to forget by the end of January. So this year I'm just looking for tiny things I can do that will move my life forward, make me happier. So no pronouncements about losing weight or finishing my novel. This year I will be kind to myself, stop doing the things that I know harm me and increase the good stuff in my life. I hope that I do finish my novel but this time I'm just going to be content with the writing I get done rather than stressing about the writing I didn't do. I enjoyed sharing my protagonist on this blog during December so I may do more of that this year. I will stop putting things off until some mythical day in the future and enjoy the here and now. If 2020 taught us anything it's that life can be changed in an instant so we should enjoy the time we have without regret.
3. How can I end 2021 feeling fulfilled?
This is a tricky one. It's rather a big question after all. But I think it bears asking in light of what we've all experienced last year. I am trying to look forward with hope. There are good signs that by summer I may have had a vaccination and have immunity from Covid. That means I can stop worrying about it all the time, stop letting it hold me back, stop feeling fearful. By the end of the year I hope many people have been vaccinated and we can begin to re-build our lives and catch up with all the things we have missed.
I want to end 2021 with a sense of accomplishment on a personal level. I want to feel happy about where my writing is, whether that's in terms of publication or not. Perhaps another lesson from 2020 is that I don't need the validation of publication. It would be wonderful if it happens but I can find satisfaction in other forms. I was lucky enough to have a story published the anthology Heartache and Hope. It was lovely to see my name in print, to know others would read my words. It even got read out on a Youtube channel! All very wonderful and good for the soul. I'd like more of that in 2021 so I will need to write, polish and submit.
4. What is important to me?
I have been fortunate during the pandemic. I didn't lose anyone to the virus and my family and friends remain healthy although some of them did have Covid. As a retired person I didn't have to make any major alterations to my daily routine, apart from setting the home office up for my husband to work from. I am grateful for the security of my home, many don't have a comfortable home of their own and 2020 was bleak for them. I also have a garden and although I'm not much of a gardener it's nice to have somewhere to sit in the fresh air or potter about pulling up weeds. I hope to make more effort to enjoy it this year.
The importance of family and friends was really brought home to me in 2020. I don't have a busy social life as a rule but I have missed being able to meet up with my sister for wine and gossip, to see friends for coffee and a chat. I've missed live theatre, the open-air Shakespeare we enjoy every summer in Oxford. I've missed the spontaneity of deciding in the morning to pop out for the day. Everything has had to be planned with military precision!
5. What do I hope for in 2021?
There are big hopes and small hopes. I hope that the various vaccines are available to everyone, that they mean we can all live lives free from fear. I hope that the wealthy nations make sure the poor are not left behind in the vaccination programme. I hope that we remember that there is much inequality in society and remember how we all came together to make a difference. I hope we remember how precious our NHS is and demand that it is properly funded in the future.
The small hopes? I hope I can remember how lonely it can be not connecting with friends. I hope I can grasp every opportunity that comes my way. I hope I can look back on 2021 as a year well-lived.
And I hope all my friends have successful 2021 too. Happy New Year!
